The Nature of Judgment: Its Roots, Impact, and Escape

by Michael Zaky, MA Clinical Psychology.

Judgment is an impulse—a habit, almost—that defines the way we see others, ourselves, and our experiences. It’s like a verdict, a final say on whatever we observe. But judgment does more than label; it brings bias, a strict, often narrow interpretation of people, events, ideas. Judgment tries to create certainty in an uncertain world, forcing things into black-and-white boxes, when, really, most of life is gray.

This rigidity—this need to simplify, control, categorize—demands a huge effort. Ironically, it takes less energy to stay open, receptive to a wider scope of information, perspectives, and possibilities. But judgment has this finality to it. It becomes an “absolute.” Yet absolutes are illusions. We don’t know for certain, and we rarely have the complete picture. It’s freeing, humbling even, to accept that. When we come to this realization, we see that judgment, in its certainty, is almost laughably fragile.

Judgment and the Illusion of Knowing

At its core, judgment is a stance. It’s as though we’ve decided, “This is how it is,” without leaving room for reinterpretation. This feels secure because it eliminates questions—but that security is a trap. Arrogance and insecurity are often the drivers here, pushing us to hold tight to our perspectives. We become resistant to change, afraid of what lies beyond our current understanding. It’s self-protective, a way to keep the discomfort of uncertainty at bay. But in doing so, we limit ourselves.

In this resistance, judgment often feels immovable. It’s not open to being questioned. It’s as though our belief is being held together by willpower alone, dismissing counter-evidence without a second thought. This defensiveness, this doubling down, it’s stubbornness born from insecurity. It can make us defensive, resistant to anything that might challenge our verdict.

Judgment’s Toxic Role in Relationships

Judgment doesn’t stay isolated within us; it spills into our relationships. When one person judges another’s behavior or choices, they place themselves in a position of control, intentionally or not. The judged person feels restricted, less free. Judgment in a relationship creates walls, divides people, and breeds resentment. When judgment takes over, fear and defensiveness fill the space where understanding should be.

Imagine you’re in a relationship where one argument occurs, but it’s met with, “You’re always getting angry.” That’s judgment at work—overgeneralizing, extrapolating one moment into an entire character assessment. It’s unfair, yet all too common. The judged person is left feeling defensive, and the initial judgment becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They react in the very way they’re being judged for, further entrenching the cycle. Judgment narrows the relationship down to one narrative, ignoring the many other facets that make a relationship whole.

Radical Belief Systems: When Judgment Dictates Reality

Judgment can also be the root of extreme or radical belief systems. These beliefs rely on absolute judgments about right and wrong, creating divides and friction between people. When judgmental perspectives harden into beliefs, they can become hostile and intolerant. Radical belief systems aren’t just ideas—they’re judgments taken to the extreme. They don’t just differ from other viewpoints; they’re dismissive of them. Such judgments, when challenged, often provoke defensiveness, aggression, even hostility.

Judgment and Compatibility: Knowing When to Step Back

When dealing with judgmental people, especially those close to us, we’re often forced to navigate a delicate line between understanding and preserving our own peace. Judgment can be a deeply ingrained habit, particularly in those with a more analytical or rigid mindset. Analytical minds often default to judgment, seeing it as a tool for understanding. Creative minds, on the other hand, tend to remain more flexible, allowing room for ambiguity. It’s important to know that a judgmental person may not change simply because you point it out. But you have the right to assess the relationship. Is there space for you, as you are? Or is it time to create distance for your own peace?

Judgment in close relationships is not just a habit; it’s a form of control. It restricts freedom, molds behavior, and limits authenticity. If you feel your freedom eroding under the weight of someone’s judgment, it’s worth questioning what’s truly best for you. No one should feel trapped in someone else’s version of who they “should” be.

Judgment and Ego: The Weapon of Control

Judgment isn’t just a shield—it’s a weapon. It’s an active force that can harm, manipulate, and even devastate. People who judge often don’t see the damage they’re doing; they may even see judgment as a form of “truth.” But when they realize the harm they’re causing, there’s a chance for humanity to awaken, for compassion to take root. It takes patience, understanding, and sometimes a lot of gentle disarming to help a judgmental person see beyond their stance.

For judgmental people reading this, know that this isn’t about labeling or staining you. It’s about showing what judgment does—to others, yes, but also to yourself. Judgment limits your own humanity. It denies the other person’s right to be imperfect, to try, to fail, to grow. It denies you the ability to connect in a real, meaningful way. Judgment can be blinding, clouding your vision with biases and turning a person’s humanity into a flaw to be corrected.

The Freedom Beyond Judgment

There’s a freedom in setting judgment aside—a liberation in letting go of the need for finality, the need to know for certain, the need to categorize everyone and everything. The reality is, judgment tends to be more about us than it is about the people or things we’re judging. By staying open, by remaining curious, by being willing to see the world as an ever-shifting, intricate landscape rather than a fixed set of answers, we allow ourselves to breathe a little easier. We allow others to simply be.

In a world that constantly pressures us to choose sides, form opinions, and make definitive statements, non-judgment offers a way to coexist in peace, to find harmony amidst our differences. It lets us build bridges instead of walls, to see value in one another without feeling the need to define it.

Written by Michael Zaky, MA Clinical Psychology