Finding Clarity in Being Single: A Moment for Self-Reflection

by Michael Zaky, MA Clinical Psychology.

Sometimes, being single isn’t just about not finding the right person—it may be due to deeper incompatibilities with the environment or people around you. Emotional connections may be hard to come by when the personalities surrounding you don’t resonate on a meaningful level. Or perhaps the intellectual stimulation necessary for deeper, more intimate bonds just hasn’t presented itself.

For some, being single is the result of past relationships that didn’t fulfill core needs. Maybe those relationships didn’t provide emotional safety, or they left you feeling anxious rather than secure. Some may have lost their sense of self in enmeshed dynamics, while others may have felt they weren’t growing, stifled by patterns that didn’t support their personal evolution. The reasons for being single vary, shaped by the dynamics of past relationships, personal needs, and cultural expectations.

No single relationship style works for everyone, and I’m not here to tell you which path is right for you. The most important thing is that you take this time to consider what you want and need in a relationship. What would help you grow? What kind of connection would fulfill you, give you strength in times of need, and provide the sense of safety we all crave when we’re feeling vulnerable?

This moment of singleness is an opportunity to reflect on what kind of relationship would allow you to thrive. What kind of partner would complement your personality, values, and beliefs? It’s about more than just finding someone with shared traits—it’s about freedom. Freedom to be yourself, and freedom to find a partner whose strengths complement your own. It’s in that balance, in the unity formed from complementary experiences and traits, that a lasting bond can be created.

Being single now doesn’t mean you’re behind or missing out. It means you have the chance to clarify what you truly want in a relationship and what will allow you to flourish.

by Michael Zaky, MA Clinical Psychology